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Subject: Your Significant Other and minis - Interactions

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The Great
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Ghendar
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Mud Lick, Kentucky

06/07/2006 7:39 AM  
So, on Monday evening my girlfriend comes over. Sometime later, I excuse myself to hit the head and when I walk back into the living room, she's looking in my display case at all my rare minis. She has one of my LSDs in her hand and she says she likes it and wants that one. (Yeah I know, Dariustad just keeled over in his computer chair, clutching his chest.)

[:0] A-OOGA! A-OOGA! DIVE! DIVE! RED ALERT! SHIELDS UP! BOGEY AT SIX O CLOCK! [:0]

Anyhoo, now what do I do? I told her previously that she could have some minis, but one of my rares?!!!???! Luckily, I pull a memory up from the hard drive where she said she wouldn't ask for any of my rare figures.
I quickly make (and pass!) a diplomacy check and she relents and settles for one of my Bulettes. Bullet (no pun intended) sucessfully dodged.

Crisis averted. [:D]

WotC - making me wish more and more every day for a return to the TSR days. :(
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Darthrau
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06/07/2006 8:53 AM  
My wife started doing the math on how much I was spending. Well to make it a short story my sets are for sale in the marketplace. My friend has slowed playing it and WD just left a bad taste in my mouth. She's cool with SWM mostly because she know's I've been a huge fan and collector since well before we were married(13 yrs). Heck she even helps open SWM boosters and says she enjoys pulling things she knows about. As I have going in another thread I'm slowly getting into Pirates but not as a collect everything guy.(Course what she don't know won't hurt her)

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Wayne
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06/07/2006 8:57 AM  
My girlfriend just rolls her eyes and tolerates both DDM and D&D. We have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy ... she doesn't ask about my hobbies, I don't ask how much she spends on purses and shoes on Ebay.

Jeff "Wayne Laredo" Wilder | Email | Have/Want List | Trade Policies | Are You an Ethical Trader?

Dordledum
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Netherlands

06/07/2006 8:58 AM  
quote:
Originally posted by Ghendar

She has one of my LSDs in her hand and she says she likes it and wants that one.

Anyhoo, now what do I do?


Only one thing to do: ask her to move in with you, in that case you can keep all minis and the girl.

[:D]

D.



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Kat_Dawg33
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USA

06/07/2006 9:15 AM  
I played MtG for years and my wife hated it. She didn't want to even attempt playing it, because she could see the type of player I was (very competitive and only played high level decks). And she always had a hard time with how much I spent on it (time and money).

I find her a bit more accepting of DDM. She loves that I share the hobby with my oldest son (10) and sees the possibility that his two younger brothers may be sharing with us as well. She likes hanging out together, watching tv/movies, while she quilts, I paint. I'm not spending quite as much money on DDM, and at first she was worried that I would still be spending the same on Magic (I haven't bought a single pack since my son and I started DDM last Christmas). She has expressed a slight interest in learning to skirmish. I will have to keep the bands light and flavorfull and make sure her band has an advantage over mine.

NOTE: My wife is wonderful! An excellent mother and a better partner I couldn't have asked for! And she knows better than to ask for my LSD. I could see letting her borrow it... maybe.

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FeranEldritchKnight
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Kansas City, MO USA

06/07/2006 9:58 AM  
Lucky for me, my wife is a gamer, albeit a girlie one. (I realize what I said, moving on) She doesn't mind the DDM, but she dislikes how much I spend on them (and that's at one case a set). But there are exceptions for her. She had to get the unicorn and pegasus. [:I] Otherwise, she halps me crack packs open and is mildly interested to see what I get. But what I trade away is my business as long as it isn't her PC. [:p]

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kyrin
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06/07/2006 10:05 AM  
I have a hobbies budget, as does my wife. She doesn't play D&D or skirmish, but does occasionally help me open boosters. We just have to be careful to keep the "choking hazards" away from little Jeffy Dragonmuncher! She thinks I'm a little obsessed (and I probably am!) but tolerates it like I tolerate her gardening and dog shows and Dr. Who and (arg) Anime.

What a lucky man am I.

JIM
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zhanteel
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06/07/2006 10:07 AM  
My wife is pretty tolerant of my gaming needs. She still gets bent out of shape on cost now and again, but these instances are rare since I quit collecting magic some years back. I brought her more into the fold about a year ago. I was in Ohio on a business trip, and found myself spending a very large sum of money on minis. To help cushion the blow, I picked up a Couatl, and gave it to her as a gift.

That piece really brought her around. Not only did I not get yelled at for spending all that cash, but she actually started playing a few games too. I built off this by helping her build a small collection from dupes that I've gotten while collecting. Now she has a respectable set of her own. She's still not what I would call a fan, but she's involved at least. For whatever reason, she's really attached to that couatl (I made a joke about having to repo it and she was not happy).

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Thenameless
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The Fortress of Solitude

06/07/2006 10:09 AM  
She shakes her head whenever a new set comes out because she knows that means another box or two in my almost-full closet. She doesn't mind the spending part of it, but is more concerned with the time DDM takes up - playing, trading, Maxminis.

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johnny.quest
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06/07/2006 10:32 AM  
The delegate program saved my marriage.

trollbill
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06/07/2006 10:40 AM  
I married a gamer, but she's into RPGs more than stratagy/tactics games. She plays DDM occasionally, but doesn't care that much for it. I had to make a deal with her to let her get a new dog in order to buy DDM by the case. I told her 'fine' but she had to train the dog not to eat minis.

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Teflon Jeff
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Sector 2814

06/07/2006 10:50 AM  
my wife grew up in a conservative rural community, so it's been... interesting. she doesn't like D&D, and Cthulhu was a hard fought fight. But she knows it's part of who I am, and I love it dearly. So as long as the bills are paid, and we still have plenty left in savings/checking, she's okay.

She's gonna flip when I get 6 WotDQ cases, till I show her the logistics of it.

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Vrecknidj
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06/07/2006 10:59 AM  
quote:
Originally posted by johnny.quest

The delegate program saved my marriage.
Yikes! I'm lucky, I started collecting in Harbinger days, and had a ton of Harbinger and Archfiends pieces to trade for later set pieces. I have, however, about hit the wall in that regard, and will have to start paying more for future sets (damn the Huge sets anyway!).

My wife and I have a weekly allowance. The income generally goes to bills and kids and all the usual stuff. But, one of the secrets to a 17-year (and counting) marriage for us is that a portion of the household income goes to a weekly allowance. She can spend her money on whatever she'd like, and I can spend mine on whatever I'd like. (Barring the usual grossly unethical things that would end up with me sleeping on the couch--at someone else's house.)

So, my minis budget comes from there. This means I have a LOT less to spend on other things, but it also means that she doesn't have a complaint about it.

Dave

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Kithmaker
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06/07/2006 11:01 AM  
My wife is a gamer, though she "grew up" on Vampire and White Wolf stuff. She plays the D&D RPG, but for some reason really dislikes the skirmish game. She knows I need to have my toys, but requires that I keep my collection slim and trim (mostly because we have weight limitations when she is assigned overseas).

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Count Dooku
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New York

06/07/2006 11:01 AM  
I got my wife into gaming. Shes played a few times. Shes currently not in my currect campaign though.
Shes never messed with my minis...She knows better :)

She feels I spend way to much on D&D. She calls the minis my "plastic crack" and she thinks that she is SOOO clever for comming up with that all by herself. :)
But she doesnt stop me or anything. She knows it makes me happy.

I really have no other hobbies anymore to drop money in.

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forkedmoon
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06/07/2006 11:06 AM  
So where do I apply for one of these tolerant significant others?

I actually have a different situation. I'm divorced (and was before getting into minis) but my son who lives with me is a player. When I found a case of Archfiends hidden in a sports card store they were already a rare commodity. We had gotten into minis post deathknell release so the first three sets were already gone. Well he pulled out a booster and announced that it was an LSD in it. I had already pulled one from a different booster so I said if it was he could have it. Pop!, dump and he nows owns a large silver dragon. [:0]

Since then he keeps eyeing my extra Drizzt (still in plastic) and I'm constantly finding my Iron Golems AWOL from my collection. Thankfully he's the one with the big SWM collection so I have leverage to keep him out of my DDM.

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orcmonk220
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06/07/2006 11:07 AM  
If I'm ever put in that situation, I'm gonna grab all my minis and exit, stage left [)]

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ehren37
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06/07/2006 11:12 AM  
Since I run our weekly game for my girlfriend, her brother, her sister and 2 of our friends, she cant really complain about spending. Her only official miniatures are a dire badger named "Oy" and a beholder she named Bertrand that I'm not allowed to trade off. Technically Bertrand has a pet rancor from the pack of SWU minis she picked out. We got our first dwarven forge sets last week, and she thought those were really cool, so I guess I'm lucky in the girlfriend/minis department.

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taliesin
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06/07/2006 11:13 AM  
My fiance is a gamer, pencil and paper RPG only, but a gamer nonetheless. She kinda rolls her eyes at my plasticrack, but that doesn't stop her from buying pewter Reaper minis for her pc's and expecting me to paint them up for her. She also helps opening my cases when they come in, and will surprise me with a couple of boosters from time to time, for no real reason. My fiance is the best![:D][:D][:D]

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Venport
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06/07/2006 11:14 AM  
My girl friend hates that i play DDM and DnD. We have had a fight or two about it but that has not happend in 6+ months. ONe thing i remind her of is that she introdused me to the person that got me into DnD and she said "you should go play have fun with the guys" So it's all her fault.

She however dose like to open the packs with me when i get a case. She also got her kitten to play with so she is happy.

C-

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XenoZephyr
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06/07/2006 11:19 AM  
My wife plays a little bit of DDM so no problems there. She attends the prereleases and plays for me since I end up judging. [:)]

My daughters have borrowed minis though. I think I have a good 6 or so Celestial Dire Badgers scattered throughout the house.


Zaukrie
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06/07/2006 11:19 AM  
My wife has no interest in gaming. I have recently begun teaching our sons to role play. They are talking about their characters like they are real. My wife recently told me she hated that when her friends did that in college.

However, she loves that my boys and I share this hobby. She also sees that I am having more fun, and encourages me to go to tournaments to see my new friends and have fun. We have a budget that I can spend on anything I want. I have not been great about staying within that budget now that golf season has rolled around....She has also agreed to start our family vacation with a side trip to the Niles qualifier - now that is cool.

The secret, like any other part of marriage, is to communicate about it and what you and she thinks is reasonable for spending/doing.

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Daezarkian
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06/07/2006 11:25 AM  
My wife is a D&D player, and she tolerates the Minis, primarily because I'm the DM...she doesn't like that they take up "so much space" (which is an inside joke between us, since her knitting yarn takes up nearly half of the house). Probably the biggest thing she doesn't like about my acquiring new minis is that it means I'll have bigger and badder stuff to throw at her and the other characters. ;)

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glumag
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06/07/2006 11:26 AM  
My wife has zero interest in my miniatures, other than the space they occupy. Other than that she likes watching me repaint and she thinks I have way too many but she always says "I am glad we have a boy", referring to our son.

There are no complaints about spending, because she is the bigger spender of the two; I am usually the one saying "oh? you just bought that...hmmm, I can get this many things with that!" [:D]

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Newtoncain
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Land of 10,000 taxes

06/07/2006 11:32 AM  
My wife only tolerates my "toys" because the eldest son and I play together.

They just don't know what's good in life...Conan, tell them what is good in life.
To rip the boosters. To count the minis spilled out before you, and to hear the indifference of the women...

PaSquall
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06/07/2006 11:33 AM  
My wife doesn't bother, and thinks DDM is useless.
However, as stubborn as she can be, she has learned that it's hopeless to try and make me stop DDM, RPG and videogames.
She moaned a bit about storage space though, but I built a nice wood shelf (and going to build another one very soon for wodq and subsequent sets) and bought nice blue plastic boxes for the doubles, so no more moaning [:D]...
She knows DDM is pricey, but as long as I pay my part of the bills, there's no problem.
She knows the market price of some of my minis too... But she knows I'll never sell them so they're still useless to her.

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06/07/2006 11:46 AM  
My fiance (who is absolutely incredible btw) totally tolerates the fact that I'm into D&D and DDM. She wasn't wild about it at first and thought that it was a little weird, but she's definitely come to accept it. She now affectionately calls my minis collection "plastic-crap". There absolutely no chance that she'll ever game with me, but that's fine. We do so much together that it's good to have a few seperate interests. Of all my hobbies, this is really the only one that costs any money and I'm pretty damn fruggle otherwise so it doesn't really impact our budget or our ability to save. Plus the gaming stuff lives in my office, so she never has to see it if she doesn't want to.

I've told her what some of the minis are worth on the secondary market and she thinks I'm crazy to not liquidate them immediately. Still, she knows that this hobby makes me happy, so she doesn't give me any trouble about it.

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06/07/2006 11:57 AM  
I've found there are three possible sources of friction with my wife and minis:

1) Money - spent either on the minis directly, or on travel & accomodations for GenCon.
2) Time - spent at tournaments instead of working on stuff around the house or with her.
3) Storage/Clutter - Minis take up a lot of space in the closet, and are often in the way if I've left them out after playing/sorting.

These sources of friction can be mitigated somewhat:

A) Sell old minis on Ebay to defray the cost of the new ones. When buying by the case, sell surplus commons/uncommons in lots. This helps with C) too.
B) Set boundaries for the maximum amount of time spent playing minis, so that there is time for "real life" stuff.
C) Be sure to clean up after using minis. Purchase or build appropriate shelving and storage units to efficiently use storage space. Get rid of exess unc/commons (see A).

So overall, things don't become a problem really unless I've been neglecting to do A-C above. At the end of the day, this is just a game (though, a highly enjoyable one) and it's important to keep it in perspective.


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AesophDarkfable
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06/07/2006 12:03 PM  
My wife has tried to play and really enjoys sealed. But thats about it. She hasn't gotten into D&D, but she does like the trips to Cons and such (WF) since she can do other things. Though we got to start planning those better for her in advance.

Im out- find me on Hordelings if you want to chat.

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06/07/2006 12:03 PM  
My wife and I both have hobbies and interests that don't involve the other so we just communicate well on what our priority wants are and figure out how to make it all work. She wants expensive home improvements, shoes, clothes and Coach purses, and I want DDM and an occassional book. It's a pretty easy sell for me.

yack
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Gatineau Canada

06/07/2006 12:08 PM  
MY gf has no wants too get into D&D. She doesn't hate it but she thinks its too expensive and takes up too much of my time. She calls them gnomes. (too bad we don't have any.. [:p] )
Are you playing gnomes tonight...?
Anyways she knows when not too cross the line as I have been gaming since I was 12. So its all good.... I think...? [:I]

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Zoons
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06/07/2006 12:30 PM  
My wife learned Magic and was a regular in our games. Since the switch to DDM, she doesn't want to learn but hasn't complained an awful lot about the time commitment (Mostly because I share the hobby with my boys). The money bothers her, but since I stopped buying Magic, there really isn't a big difference. The only real problem is I miss playing with her.

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06/07/2006 12:33 PM  
Significant Other? Well, the Pegasi fully support my interest in DDM!

...Oh, wait. You're referring to a more romantic attachment. As you can imagine, I'm pretty well unattached in that regard at this time. So this is basically a non-issue to me for now.

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Idzy
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Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

06/07/2006 12:40 PM  
My GF isn't really interested in DDM or D&D but she encourages me to play, she has taken an interest in MTG though thank jeebus I'm a delegate and get a box of each set my poor wallet couldn't handle another game.

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Mud Lick, Kentucky

06/07/2006 12:41 PM  
quote:
Originally posted by Pegasus Knight



...Oh, wait. You're referring to a more romantic attachment. As you can imagine, I'm pretty well unattached in that regard at this time. So this is basically a non-issue to me for now.



Well, there's always the Pegasi. [:p]

WotC - making me wish more and more every day for a return to the TSR days. :(
I fought the snark and the snark won. I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!

Some of my favorite Maxminis quotes
I actually love to be swallowed. - Posted By gss_000 on 09/04/2007 2:32 PM
Could somebody explain Snatch to me? I understand the basics, but not how to enter/use it. - Posted by orcmonk220
G's the man. - Posted By greyhaze on 11/11/2008 8:58 AM
I dont mind butting heads every once in a while. It makes thing interesting. Thats why I'd be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left - Posted By Count Dooku on 04/03/2006 11:58 AM

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06/07/2006 12:43 PM  
My GF is a gamer, and usually buys a case of each new set-she LOVES opening anything collectible (and slowly pulls out each new piece, one ata time, ohhhing and ahhing over even the most mundane common-cute but annoying when I am desperately hoping she'll pull the Balor I hadn't gotten in my three cases....)

I had issue recently with not being able to trade my Frenzied Berserker for a sweet deal-as it is her current PC. However, small price to pay, very very small.


Zenako
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06/07/2006 12:53 PM  
quote:
Originally posted by Fenris

I've found there are three possible sources of friction with my wife and minis:

1) Money - spent either on the minis directly, or on travel & accomodations for GenCon.
2) Time - spent at tournaments instead of working on stuff around the house or with her.
3) Storage/Clutter - Minis take up a lot of space in the closet, and are often in the way if I've left them out after playing/sorting.

These sources of friction can be mitigated somewhat:

A) Sell old minis on Ebay to defray the cost of the new ones. When buying by the case, sell surplus commons/uncommons in lots. This helps with C) too.
B) Set boundaries for the maximum amount of time spent playing minis, so that there is time for "real life" stuff.
C) Be sure to clean up after using minis. Purchase or build appropriate shelving and storage units to efficiently use storage space. Get rid of exess unc/commons (see A).

So overall, things don't become a problem really unless I've been neglecting to do A-C above. At the end of the day, this is just a game (though, a highly enjoyable one) and it's important to keep it in perspective.



A) Definitely sell off your old extras to fund new stuff. Been doing that quite extensively myself. Keeps the financial burden manageable.

B) This is often the bigger gripe, the time spent on D&D or MInis. Wife used to play in the RPG games and we do play lots of other games and with a gamer daughter we can have competitive 3 way games without having to pull punches. The little one is quite good at Scrabble and Ticket To Ride and has won more than her share of matches.

C) Well I built an addition to the house and have freed up the family room, my office and various other locations to now house the gaming empire in the gaming hall. Granted this was perhaps extreme but I do have an extensive collection. 30+ years of collecting can catch up with space requirements...

Built the addition for this addiction, now on to the "gaming table" project....
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06/07/2006 12:59 PM  
quote:
Originally posted by Zenako



A) Definitely sell off your old extras to fund new stuff. Been doing that quite extensively myself. Keeps the financial burden manageable.




That's what I'll be doing starting with WotDQ.

My girlfriend accepts my hobby (weirdness she calls it) mainly due to the fact that she's awesome but also that it's really my only collectible at the moment.

She rolls her eyes at me when I say I want to return to comic book collecting. She's sees the 80+ boxes of comics in my spare room and just shakes her head.

She's not a collector, or as she calls me, a pack rat. Hmm, my parents call me a pack rat too, bit of a pattern there. [:D]


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PatEllis15
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06/07/2006 1:19 PM  
quote:
My girlfriend just rolls her eyes and tolerates both DDM and D&D. We have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy ... she doesn't ask about my hobbies, I don't ask how much she spends on purses and shoes on Ebay.


HEH! THis is exactly my wife and I, except that we DO share how much we spend, and there blibber unintelligibly at how much the other is spending on something so useless....

Pat E

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06/07/2006 1:31 PM  
My wife has known me since I first became a gamer way back when we started playing Spellfire... she didnt understand it then, and doesnt really understand DDM now, but she's gotten into D&D somewhat and never gripes when I leave for my weekly game... she winces when the new cases arrive, but as I dont really spend money on anything else, she's usually good with it.

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