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dagonet
Sergeant
439 Posts
    
 | | 10/13/2006 3:43 PM |
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I run a homebrew D&D-meets-Mage-Knight rpg twice a week at my FLGS, and the owner periodically directs prospective and/or players to me. One of these potential recruits, frankly, creeps me out. Is there a generally accepted, reasonably polite way to tell someone your gaming group just isn't interested in him/her without being a total sh!t?
Thanks in advance,
Dagonet | |
"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
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Oryan77
Sergeant
950 Posts
| | 10/13/2006 4:58 PM |
| That's tough since it's not an inner circle game, but a public game held at a flgs.
Could you tell him that his gaming style doesn't mesh well with you and explain that it's hard for you to DM him? Then just say, "I feel bad asking this, but would you mind looking for another group?" That still sounds bad though. I can't really think of anything you can say to use as ammo since all he's doing is being "creepy" in a public game.
If the game was held at your home and not so open to the public, there's all kinds of things you could say that hopefully wouldn't hurt his feelings or piss him off.
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WakeXX
Warlord
10122 Posts
Edinboro PA
| | 10/13/2006 5:38 PM |
| does "Get lost,creep" sound impolite? | | | |
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gss_000
Commander
3204 Posts
Baltimore, MD
| | 10/13/2006 6:12 PM |
| I guess the real qustion for me is, how open is the game? Can anyone join the game, how many palyers do you have and how many do you want?
If this is supposed to be a public game where you want people to come join at al times, then you have to let him in. If he is being disruptive to the group then that also is a way to ask him to leave. If your goal is to have people rotate in and he is preventing that, then tell him so.
If this is really just a private game in a public space, which it sounds like, you can say, "I'm happy with the group I have now and I'm not looking to increase it at this time." Now, if you have 3 players, that is harder to swallow. If you have a good size group, then you are okay. What's better is it is true while not getting into reasons that could be insulting. If you do add someone else and are called on it, then you'll have to so some fancy talking.
Although, sometimes it's good to just tell someone "I don't think you'll work with this group," even though that is more harsh | |
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Star
Sergeant
978 Posts
New Britain, CT
| | 10/13/2006 7:35 PM |
| | This would be much easier if you hadn't specifically mentioned that you wanted to be polite about it. | |
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gss_000
Commander
3204 Posts
Baltimore, MD
| | 10/14/2006 7:08 PM |
| | Yeah, who would want to be nice, anyways...just kidding. | |
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Skyscraper
Sergeant
659 Posts
Montreal
| | 10/16/2006 10:18 AM |
| I'm curious: what do you mean when you say the player creeps you out?
I don't think there's an easy way to go about telling someone that you don't want him in your group. I'd keep it short and sweet, and leave personal stuff out of there (i.e. don't start saying "i don't like this or that about you"). Just something like "i'm sorry, i don't think we have compatible gaming styles". If he asks for details, you can remain evasive "i can't really be more precise, it's just something that i feel like i have in the past with other players, some of which are friends of mine. Nothing personal, i just don't approach the game like you do".
Sky
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The wise man doubts often. The ignorant, sometimes. The fool, never. | |
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forkedmoon
Underboss
1305 Posts
| | 10/16/2006 1:19 PM |
| First like Skyscraper I'd like to know what it is that creeps you out, just a feeling, is it visual or actions/words. Depending on what it is there could be a variety of answers.
I also tried to think how I'd like to be told. Me personally - "Not an opening for YOU even if you did try to bribe the DM with Blueberry muffins" of course a polite "don't think you'd fit the mix" would work for me. I'd be unlikely to press for details but would just probably ask about any other groups that might have an opening. | |
Champion of Cyclops
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TYGRHobbes
Sneak
149 Posts
| | 10/16/2006 2:30 PM |
| | I've had the same problem but I usually try to include someone in the campaign regardless. It's not so much a problem here since we have a rotation of 4 DMs. I would just tell the person that the current campaign is full and then say you can join when a new campaign has started. They may or may not lose interest by then. | |
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dagonet
Sergeant
439 Posts
| | 10/16/2006 11:37 PM |
| | Heya all,
First of all, thank you all for your input. Here are the answers to some of your questions:
The rpg itself is generally open to all interested parties--our system isn't quite as Type A as D&D's "optimized for a party of exactly four" set-up, so we can accommodate up to 8 players most of the time. Having said that, because we're a homebrew, it takes some time to explain how everything works, which is hard to do in the middle of a session.
I'm looking for a polite solution because the owner of the flgs is a friend of mine who lets us play at his very cool shop twice a week for free, and it seems ungrateful to cheese off one of his customers just because we don't want to play with him.
The Creepiness is this: the guy introduced himself by a roleplaying name, and when I asked for his real name, wouldn't give it. That set off all sorts of mental alarm bells, and while there are several possible explanations, none of them are conducive to comfortable gaming with the guy.
Cheers,
Dagonet | |
"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
Champion of Kyuss and his Servants of Squishy Doom | |
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Oryan77
Sergeant
950 Posts
| | 10/17/2006 10:48 AM |
| Posted By dagonet on 10/16/2006 11:37 PM
The Creepiness is this: the guy introduced himself by a roleplaying name, and when I asked for his real name, wouldn't give it.
You: "Well "Bud The Wieser", Wizard of the Nine Moons...we feel that this isn't the type of game for you and we would like to ask that you leave the group. We're just simple people that enjoy roleplaying a fantasy character for a few hours. You seem to be a fantasy character that's looking to play a simple person for a few hours. What you need is a change. Can I suggest a computer game called The Sims Online? I'm sure "Bud The Wieser", Wizard of the Nine Moons would have more fun roleplaying as "John Smith", Day Care Assistant on Roxbury Lane. It was nice meeting you Mr. Wieser."
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gss_000
Commander
3204 Posts
Baltimore, MD
| | 10/17/2006 3:47 PM |
| You might want to tone down Oryan's answer, although I do like it in general (it made me chuckle). There is no more of a reason than that. If he won't listen to you as the DM and organizer of the group with this very simple question, then how can you possibly hope to have a conductive roleplaying environment when you have to make a gaming call.
You may want to see this as an opportunity to make him a better person. If you ask him to change his behavior, explaining why in a nice way, he might become less creepy. If he does, I'd say let him in and remove him if he becomes disruptive.
You may also want to talk to the store owner and tell him your misgivings. There might be something he knows about this customer that you don't.
Good luck with this. I'd be interested in hearing how it turns out. | |
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Korhal_IV
Sergeant
852 Posts
| | 10/17/2006 11:39 PM |
| I think if you tell the FLGS store owner that this creep introduced himself by a roleplaying name, and wouldn't give his real name, the store owner should fall firmly in your camp.
Plus, am I incorrect in assuming that you buy a lot of product at this FLGS? Or some, at least? Your FLGS owner should respect you as a consumer just as much as you respect him as a vendor. If you feel like driving the point home, why don't you pick up the latest book or set of minis you feel like buying, tell the rest of your friends to do so, and walk up to the counter. As you put the loads of product on the counter, tell him the guy's a creep and you don't really want to see him. Even the most obtuse store owner will get the point, I think. | |
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Ghendar
Warlord
10849 Posts
In the constellation of Cygnus, or Central Connecticut
| | 10/18/2006 5:30 AM |
| Posted By dagonet on 10/16/2006 11:37 PM introduced himself by a roleplaying name, and when I asked for his real name, wouldn't give it. That set off all sorts of mental alarm bells, and while there are several possible explanations, none of them are conducive to comfortable gaming with the guy. Cheers, Dagonet
ooooooookay,
It's good to know that every so often an example comes up that proves I'm not quite as big a geek as I sometimes think I am.
For the future Dag, I think you need to discuss some ground rules with your FLGS owner friend and hopefully he can not send these types to you. Just an idea.
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Vrecknidj
Warlord
9970 Posts
United States
| | 10/18/2006 4:20 PM |
| Draw up a contract that clearly stipulates that people who introduce themselves to the DM by their RPG name are denied access. Put lots of pentagrams on it, make sure the word "perpetuity" appears in several places, and store the paper in a drawer with some sulfur the night before.
Dave | |
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My Trade Thread and My Reference Thread; Winner of WBC IV, IX and XIII; Rule #0: bshugg is always right! | |
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TYGRHobbes
Sneak
149 Posts
| | 10/18/2006 9:33 PM |
| | Heh, how do you tell a DM to go away without being impolite? | |
Champion of the Lamia
www.tygrhobbes.com | |
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Oryan77
Sergeant
950 Posts
| | 10/18/2006 11:26 PM |
| Posted By TYGRHobbes on 10/18/2006 9:33 PM Heh, how do you tell a DM to go away without being impolite?
Well,
you could tell him, "Oh, please don't use my real name anymore. I'm Sir
Vaughn Solo for now on, but you can call me Solo. I rolled up a
new character and he has three 18 stats and he's a Half-Gnome
Half-Giant Squid Paladin/Rogue. I got tired of my old character and I
refuse to play anything different."
With any luck, he'll tell you to go away first!
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Bert the Troll
Commander
3754 Posts
Adelaide
| | 10/18/2006 11:29 PM |
| Posted By TYGRHobbes on 10/18/2006 9:33 PM Heh, how do you tell a DM to go away without being impolite?
From a distence. | |
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AnarionZelle
Underboss
1072 Posts
USA
| | 11/28/2006 11:25 PM |
| | I would be interested to see how this situation was resolved. | |
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dagonet
Sergeant
439 Posts
| | 12/04/2006 9:31 AM |
| Posted By AnarionZelle on 11/28/2006 11:25 PM
I would be interested to see how this situation was resolved.
Actually, the situation resolved itself quite nicely--I haven't heard from the guy since I posted this thread. Either he picked up on my reluctance, or else moved on to some other interest.
It is nice, however, to know that I have some useful arrows in my quiver in case he pops up again.
Cheers, and thanks to all,
Dagonet | |
"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
Champion of Kyuss and his Servants of Squishy Doom | |
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dagonet
Sergeant
439 Posts
| | 12/05/2006 3:31 PM |
| Posted By TYGRHobbes on 10/18/2006 9:33 PM Heh, how do you tell a DM to go away without being impolite?
Funny you should ask, as I was on the opposite end of the player/GM coin a few weeks ago. In the midst of a huge, multi-session combat which had seen our characters and their (summoned/constructed) allies repeatedly pushed back by wave after wave of (over)powerful enemies, the GM moved his PC's out of combat because he didn't want to use GM knowledge against himself and none of the rest of us felt like shepherding his characters around. As soon as the retreaters reached the escape staircase, I had my PC reclassify them from "Friendly" to "Neutral Ally", which stripped them of a whole series of Movement-enhancing buffs. Then, with the help of another player, I used some of our summoned help to barricade them in a dead-end room while the rest of us planned our fighting retreat. The campaign basically ended at that point. =)
Cheers,
Dagonet | |
"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."
Champion of Kyuss and his Servants of Squishy Doom | |
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