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Sulaco
Underboss
1605 Posts
    
 | | 04/03/2006 10:19 AM |
| I feel I must offer a sincere apology if I was more than normally a bit touchy and out-of-line last week. My wife had surgery on Monday and we had a cancer scare with her (negative, thank Bog) and I think I wasn't dealing with it as well as I had thought.
Several people took the opportunity to tell me that they basically think I am a huge asshole. This is not the case and I have tried to make this clear, but the point of this is not to rebutt that charge. Instead I must concede that, despite the intent of my posts and my explanations thereof, they do give that impression to some. I will endeavour to change my posting style to make it more agreeable.
In that same thread last week Jai stated that he felt I barged in here and acted like I owned the place. That was certainly not my intent, I was simply trying to be a full and active member of the community. While I consider this an unfair charge, and in my off-balanced emotional state last week a hurtful one, this is not to call him out for it. Regardless of my intent I must answer for the perception. If Jai, or anyone else, feels that I acted inappropriately then again I offer a sincere apology.
Since some folks find my style offputting I felt it might be best to leave MaxMinis as my foremost goal is and has always been simply to foster a solid DDM community. However several folks contacted me privately and urged me to reconsider, and I have done so. At length, in fact, as I found the whole thing rather unsettling. I seem to have a devises quality - some folks loathe me and some love me - but though many folks appreciate my bluntness it does little towards fostering a sense of community. As such rather than simply sod off I will stay (a relief to some, a blow to other I am sure [)])and instead make an effort to alter my posting style to make it more agreeable.
Hopefully this is the last that ever needs be said on this issue and we can carry on discussing our shared love.
CHeers, all.
PS - One poster said he stopped posting on the WotC forums cos of me. Please don't. Don't change anything in your life, even this minor, cos of me. I'm just some anonymous git online. If you don't like me just ignore me. You won't be the first. [)]
PPS - No matter how hard I try I will always make typos. I apologize in advance, and in perpetuity, for that. | |
Champion of the Gelatinous Cube. Nemesis of Gnomes and Dinosaurs.
Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. ~ Terry Pratchett | |
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Avatar of the Irrelevant
Diomedes
Commander
3185 Posts
| | 04/03/2006 11:17 AM |
| quote:
PPS - No matter how hard I try I will always make typos. I apologize in advance, and in perpetuity, for that.
quote:
CHeers, all.
Capital "h" following the "C", I'm highly offended.
quote:
My wife had surgery on Monday and we had a cancer scare with her (negative, thank Bog)
Sounds like a rough deal. Glad everything worked out. I know I'd be a bit off if my wife went in for surgery.
-Diomedes | |
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Count Dooku
Commander
4637 Posts
New York
| | 04/03/2006 11:58 AM |
| I dont remember the issue..But a ways back on the WotC forums you dissagreed with something I said in a less than nice way.
Oh I was ticked off.
But then I realized that 9 out of 10 of your posts makes me laugh out loud. So I got over it real quick. I dont mind butting heads every once in a while. It makes thing interesting. Thats why Id be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left :)
Despite your horrible flaw of you disliking gnomes I think your commontary is great.
Im glad you reconsidered. I didnt even know you were thinking of leaving. In your last post apologising I told you it was OK and not to sweat it...I never checked back on it until after reading this. | |
Champion of the Skulk
Vindicated Champion of the Twig Blight | |
| 
B
Underboss
1189 Posts
| | 04/03/2006 3:28 PM |
| Hmmm....I wouldn't say big......maybe moderately sized....but not big [)] Honestly, the world needs more bluntness. Quite often there is a lot of dancing around issues trying not to offend...but that solves nothing. Every now and then some people need to be slapped in the face and told to smarten up, otherwise nothing would be resolved. I'm not saying that you were that forward with anyone here ( not that I've seen), but if someone can't take a little criticism then they have to take a look at their personal state. Personally, I prefer criticism as compared to being completely ignored. It may sting at first, but when you calm down and look at it you'll find that criticism is the best way to learn, and the critic is actually trying to help you..........even if they're a big asshole. [:D]
Keep doing what you're doing man. | |
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.--Dylan Thomas
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griffrat
Commander
3507 Posts
| | 04/03/2006 4:41 PM |
| Well, here is my two coppers and then back to presentation practice.....
Be who you are don't compromise. But there are ways to be who you are, stick to your guns and diplomatic. I am not saying that you have ever offended me. In fact I have a deeper respect for you since you want to build and foster a true community. Even to the extent of self sacrifice/self imposed banishment. That takes some stones and is a truer measure of who you are.
But on the issue of getting along. Diplomacy and tact are two of the things that I had the hardest time learning in my transition from the military to the "real" world. Speaking from experinces, there are many ways to tell a person they have screwed up or are flat wrong.
The timing and presentation are everything. As you are aware there are peripheral things that go on in all of our lives that can be distracting to us. So much of a distraction we may not be thinking clearly and the written word can have a lost meaning as when we talk there are all the non-verbal communications that go with the conversation that are completely lost in the reading typing translation.
Here is the rule that I have lived by since joining this great site. Treat everyone as if they are the next person that you are wanting to trade with. It is my thought that all the comunications will be fair and honest. In treating everyone to the golden rule then you have less to worry about when the ideas of community come along and people know where you are coming from and where you stand.
Thanks for sticking around and here is to agreeing to disagree on occasions.
Also, glad to hear that the wife was not diagnosed with the cancer.... | |
Ambassador of FUN!!! | |
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Fry
Underboss
1724 Posts
| | 04/03/2006 4:53 PM |
| Well, it's good that the fact that hearing "Sulaco is an asshole" from more than one source has caused you to consider the possibility. Even if the end result is "No, I'm not an asshole," it's really big of you to consider it.
Comfs on the cancer scare and surgery. | |
"Why am I all sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?"
-Vindicated champion of Tordek, Dwarf Champion | |
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Bert the Troll
Commander
3964 Posts
Adelaide
| | 04/03/2006 10:38 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Sulaco
I feel I must offer a sincere apology if I was more than normally a bit touchy and out-of-line last week. My wife had surgery on Monday and we had a cancer scare with her (negative, thank Bog) and I think I wasn't dealing with it as well as I had thought.
I feel for you, and give you another strangers sympathy [)]
I do sincerely wish her and you the best.
quote:
Several people took the opportunity to tell me that they basically think I am a huge asshole. This is not the case and I have tried to make this clear, but the point of this is not to rebutt that charge. Instead I must concede that, despite the intent of my posts and my explanations thereof, they do give that impression to some. I will endeavour to change my posting style to make it more agreeable.
Just to add a few coppers,
Intent of posts is something that people all over mistake and get wrong. Not just yours.
Explanations of posts seldon too good, as by that time people have already taken offence, so it probably isnt a good tactic to rely on explaining what you meant...
quote:
In that same thread last week Jai stated that he felt I barged in here and acted like I owned the place. That was certainly not my intent, I was simply trying to be a full and active member of the community. While I consider this an unfair charge, and in my off-balanced emotional state last week a hurtful one, this is not to call him out for it. Regardless of my intent I must answer for the perception. If Jai, or anyone else, feels that I acted inappropriately then again I offer a sincere apology.
Without trying to be an ahole myself, an apology where you deny the offense isn't that much an apology.
As you are a long time poster relating to DDM, I think it would be very hard for you not to post like a ... long time poster of DDM. :0 Jai did acknowledge this too.
But you do seem aware that you have an abrasive personality :) Which comes from being a satrical son of a cynical sod.
Just factor into your posts that not all people know you as such :)
quote:
Since some folks find my style off putting I felt it might be best to leave MaxMinis as my foremost goal is and has always been simply to foster a solid DDM community. However several folks contacted me privately and urged me to reconsider, and I have done so.
I am the sort of person that welcomes diversity so I would add my voice to the stayers. You show yourself to be intelligent, and also to some extent aware of yor failings ;) If you had a little diplomacy you'd be perfect :p In particular, I would avoid correcting others spelling or gender confusion unless it's a more frivolous topic :|
quote:
At length, in fact, as I found the whole thing rather unsettling. I seem to have a devises quality - some folks loathe me and some love me - but though many folks appreciate my bluntness it does little towards fostering a sense of community. As such rather than simply sod off I will stay (a relief to some, a blow to other I am sure [)])and instead make an effort to alter my posting style to make it more agreeable.
I think there are people in the middle ground - it's just rare for them to post about it, or even find Off Topic section.
I`m glad you have decided to stay, and to amend your posting tone/style a little.
quote:
Hopefully this is the last that ever needs be said on this issue and we can carry on discussing our shared love.
Darn Right !
quote:
CHeers, all.
Cheers & hope you don't mind my response. No offence meant yadayada.
quote:
PS - One poster said he stopped posting on the WotC forums cos of me. Please don't. Don't change anything in your life, even this minor, cos of me. I'm just some anonymous git online. If you don't like me just ignore me. You won't be the first. [)]
I must confess to not understanding people not posting due to one git. I`m too stubborn. Though maxmini's ain't got an ignore.
I would hope that people would express their ummm 'distress/anger/disgust' before ignoring or leaving though. It is a friendly community & disputes should maganged in a friendly way.
quote:
PPS - No matter how hard I try I will always make typos. I apologize in advance, and in perpetuity, for that.
Tpoys? That's unpossib;le. | |
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer." Bert the Troll - The Hobbit
Semi-Secret sig business: "In the age of the internet attaching a famous name to your personal opinion to give more weight to it is a very valid strategy." - Benjamin Franklin
Champion of Epic Lolth, Orcus, & Demogorgon and bring us Asmodeus! | |
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Can of the Cave Beer
Commander
2838 Posts
| | 04/04/2006 12:50 AM |
| First off, I'm glad to hear that things are "ok" on the medical front. That's a LOT of extra trouble to carry around.
Second, Sulaco's posts are the probably the ONLY thing I miss from the WotC boards--even when they honked me off, they were still usually (90+%) worth reading. Sure, he comes off as a smug, superior ******* from time to time, but that's really no different from the rest of us. Misunderstandings happen, and unfortunately there's little to be done about it.
Third, even though Sulaco may have "barged in" he's an active CONTRIBUTOR and not just a POSTER. Contributors try to better things and encourage discussion; posters are more concerned with upping their post count.
Now, we all fluctuate between different ratios of each aspect, and both aspects are needed. But it's a damn shame every time we lose a contributor and an annoyance every time we gain a poster.
Besides, I'd miss his repaints. | |
Champion of the Werewolf Lord, Knight of Anything Duergar, and Squire of Things Gnollish
List reset with the start of previews for each new set...got Chainmail®? | |
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reezel
Sergeant
555 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 8:58 AM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Count Dooku
Thats why Id be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left :)
If you really want him I can have him boxed up and shiped out to you at your earliest convenience. | |
Champion of the Beholder and Beholderkin
The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. | |
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CarrionCrawler
Underboss
1760 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 12:01 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by reezel
quote:
Originally posted by Count Dooku
Thats why Id be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left :)
If you really want him I can have him boxed up and shiped out to you at your earliest convenience.
Would he do chores, or just sit around organizing and reorganizing my minis? | |
Vindicated Night Below Champion of the Digestor!!! Knight of the OozesIcons called shot: Angry MobThe stink of rotten meat surrounds this multilegged creature with a segmented, 10-foot long body. Eight writhing tentacles protrude from its head, growing directly from below its clacking mandibles and tooth-filled maw. | |
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Vash
Underboss
1995 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 12:18 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by CarrionCrawler
quote:
Originally posted by reezel
quote:
Originally posted by Count Dooku
Thats why Id be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left :)
If you really want him I can have him boxed up and shiped out to you at your earliest convenience.
Would he do chores, or just sit around organizing and reorganizing my minis?
I dunno, but I've heard he makes a mean sammich. [:)] | |
Champion of the Alhoon and my called shot for Unhallowed
Blood War Called Shot: Phoenix
Trade withe me! | |
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reezel
Sergeant
555 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 12:39 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Vash
I dunno, but I've heard he makes a mean sammich. [:)]
I have seen him with make a sandwich or three. Not sure on thier quality though. | |
Champion of the Beholder and Beholderkin
The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. | |
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Zenako
Commander
3472 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 12:46 PM |
| While not personally involved in the situation or thread(s) that might have generated the spat, I can say that it is often how something is written rather than what is written that causes the most angst. As Griffrat points out, diplomacy and tact are hard things to master when one is used to being blunt. I face this issue all the time as I act as the buffer between the engineers working for me and the customers. I have to find polite ways to tell the guys with the money that they are wrong and it cannot work the way they think it can. "The Customer is always right" is dead wrong. But, "The Customer is the one with the Money" is right on. So you must tread carefully and not piss them off. Skillfully answering their questions or directives without pisssing people off is a fine skill, that is often even harder to do in print, since it leaves little room for nuance or subtlety.
Simple example:
Poster X says that GGGG can beat DDDDD.
One could respond:
1) "You are a bleeping idiot if you think that is possible..."
2) "WRONG"
3) "What makes you think that result is possible? from my experience that does not happen."
Response 1 would probably piss off Poster X. Respones 2 would probably get ignored and annoy Poster X. Response 3 might elict a reply in which Poster X explains his criteria or assumptions, which could then be examined on their merits and critiqued, and evolve into a hopefully civil thread. In all three cases the reply has indicated that one disagrees with the thought that Poster X has stated.
As for the barging in, it happens whenever someone gets involved and starts posting a lot. Some posters get emails from a mod to tone it down or to keep things civil if they appear to stretch the behavioral norms of the site and forums. You were not the first and will not be the last that gets a prod to adapt to the norms of the site.
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Built the addition for this addiction, now on to the "gaming table" project....
http://www.maxminis.com/hw_list.asp?user=Zenako last updated 29 May 2006
Set Status: in a nutshell = all of all
In Process trades 0), (Sig last updated 05/29/06) 300 plus Completed Trades -
If I seem scarce at times...blame DDO - Sarlona | |
| The Great
Choco Monster
Ghendar
Warlord
13069 Posts
Mud Lick, Kentucky
| | 04/06/2006 12:55 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Count Dooku
Thats why Id be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left :)
I love you man!
Seriously though, it diminishes the entire community when anyone leaves. Although sometimes I think it would be good if a couple in particular would leave. (not you Sulaco, or you Count) [:D]
Some of you know who I'm talking about. | |
WotC - making me wish more and more every day for a return to the TSR days. :(
I fought the snark and the snark won. I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!
Some of my favorite Maxminis quotes
I actually love to be swallowed. - Posted By gss_000 on 09/04/2007 2:32 PM
Could somebody explain Snatch to me? I understand the basics, but not how to enter/use it. - Posted by orcmonk220
G's the man. - Posted By greyhaze on 11/11/2008 8:58 AM
I dont mind butting heads every once in a while. It makes thing interesting. Thats why I'd be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left - Posted By Count Dooku on 04/03/2006 11:58 AM
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| The Great
Choco Monster
Ghendar
Warlord
13069 Posts
Mud Lick, Kentucky
| | 04/06/2006 12:56 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by reezel
quote:
Originally posted by Count Dooku
Thats why Id be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left :)
If you really want him I can have him boxed up and shiped out to you at your earliest convenience.
no, no, no, no, no. I rule YOU!
[)] | |
WotC - making me wish more and more every day for a return to the TSR days. :(
I fought the snark and the snark won. I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!
Some of my favorite Maxminis quotes
I actually love to be swallowed. - Posted By gss_000 on 09/04/2007 2:32 PM
Could somebody explain Snatch to me? I understand the basics, but not how to enter/use it. - Posted by orcmonk220
G's the man. - Posted By greyhaze on 11/11/2008 8:58 AM
I dont mind butting heads every once in a while. It makes thing interesting. Thats why I'd be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left - Posted By Count Dooku on 04/03/2006 11:58 AM
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| The Great
Choco Monster
Ghendar
Warlord
13069 Posts
Mud Lick, Kentucky
| | 04/06/2006 12:57 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by reezel
quote:
Originally posted by Vash
I dunno, but I've heard he makes a mean sammich. [:)]
I have seen him with make a sandwich or three. Not sure on thier quality though.
Yup, I'm known worldwide for my possum sammiches with relish on pumpernickel. | |
WotC - making me wish more and more every day for a return to the TSR days. :(
I fought the snark and the snark won. I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!
Some of my favorite Maxminis quotes
I actually love to be swallowed. - Posted By gss_000 on 09/04/2007 2:32 PM
Could somebody explain Snatch to me? I understand the basics, but not how to enter/use it. - Posted by orcmonk220
G's the man. - Posted By greyhaze on 11/11/2008 8:58 AM
I dont mind butting heads every once in a while. It makes thing interesting. Thats why I'd be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left - Posted By Count Dooku on 04/03/2006 11:58 AM
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| *censored*
glumag
Warlord
5968 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 1:02 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Ghendar
quote:
Originally posted by Count Dooku
Thats why Id be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left :)
I love you man!
Seriously though, it diminishes the entire community when anyone leaves. Although sometimes I think it would be good if a couple in particular would leave. (not you Sulaco, or you Count) [:D]
Some of you know who I'm talking about.
yes, I know! | |
Trades >> Completed: 49 | Bad: Ø | Pending: 0 | Trade & talk Live on IRC! SERVER: irc.psionics.net CHANNEL: #maxminis | |
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Username
Warlord
5692 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 1:03 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Ghendar
Although sometimes I think it would be good if a couple in particular would leave. (not you Sulaco, or you Count) [:D]
Some of you know who I'm talking about.
Sorry, but I'm here to stay! (well, until I decide to leave)
[:D][)] | |
Originally posted by Schooly_D
Username - he deals in minis
Champion of Lhesh Haruuc Shaarat'kor | |
| The Great
Choco Monster
Ghendar
Warlord
13069 Posts
Mud Lick, Kentucky
| | 04/06/2006 1:21 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Username
quote:
Originally posted by Ghendar
Although sometimes I think it would be good if a couple in particular would leave. (not you Sulaco, or you Count) [:D]
Some of you know who I'm talking about.
Sorry, but I'm here to stay! (well, until I decide to leave)
[:D][)]
Damn!
[:p] | |
WotC - making me wish more and more every day for a return to the TSR days. :(
I fought the snark and the snark won. I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!
Some of my favorite Maxminis quotes
I actually love to be swallowed. - Posted By gss_000 on 09/04/2007 2:32 PM
Could somebody explain Snatch to me? I understand the basics, but not how to enter/use it. - Posted by orcmonk220
G's the man. - Posted By greyhaze on 11/11/2008 8:58 AM
I dont mind butting heads every once in a while. It makes thing interesting. Thats why I'd be heartbroken if Ghendar ever left - Posted By Count Dooku on 04/03/2006 11:58 AM
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Zenako
Commander
3472 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 1:28 PM |
| | If this thread was not already in Off Topic I might have to move it or lock it down for the flurry of frivolous spamwich posting....grin... | |
Built the addition for this addiction, now on to the "gaming table" project....
http://www.maxminis.com/hw_list.asp?user=Zenako last updated 29 May 2006
Set Status: in a nutshell = all of all
In Process trades0), (Sig last updated 05/29/06) 300 plus Completed Trades -
If I seem scarce at times...blame DDO - Sarlona | |
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Vash
Underboss
1995 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 2:19 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Zenako
If this thread was not already in Off Topic I might have to move it or lock it down for the flurry of frivolous spamwich posting....grin...
Who us? Off topic? spamwiches? never! | |
Champion of the Alhoon and my called shot for Unhallowed
Blood War Called Shot: Phoenix
Trade withe me! | |
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Felagund
Sergeant
922 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 2:31 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Ghendar
I love you man!
Seriously though, it diminishes the entire community when anyone leaves. Although sometimes I think it would be good if a couple in particular would leave. (not you Sulaco, or you Count) [:D]
Some of you know who I'm talking about.
I'd consider leaving in exchange for a hefty bribe...[}:)] | |
Champion of Gnomes | |
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Username
Warlord
5692 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 2:52 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Ghendar
quote:
Originally posted by Username
quote:
Originally posted by Ghendar
Although sometimes I think it would be good if a couple in particular would leave. (not you Sulaco, or you Count) [:D]
Some of you know who I'm talking about.
Sorry, but I'm here to stay! (well, until I decide to leave)
[:D][)]
Damn!
[:p]
Nevah I say, NEVAH! I am here for ETERNITY!
[:p] | |
Originally posted by Schooly_D
Username - he deals in minis
Champion of Lhesh Haruuc Shaarat'kor | |
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Narethkraag
Sergeant
848 Posts
| | 04/06/2006 7:55 PM |
| Hello Sulaco, I know you since the days you were just Dave in the WOTC forums, that is some time ago, You have always been like that and that is your personality..... I liked you from the beginning, I have no complaints...... I for one think you are maxminis material, it is just a matter of very slight changes IMO...........[:D]
For what ever it is worth, I have had worse discussions here than in the WOTC forums, go figure........ | |
my list:http://www.maxminis.com/hwlist.asp?user=narethkraag
completed trades: Capnfrank, Sturmkraehe, Jeff Wilder (x5), Mrfurious, Shinobi, Hockeyfan, Kyrin x2, Scepter, Archimagus, Enginer230, The Last Huzzah, War golem, RedSkullz
Definetely bad trader: Invictus | |
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