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Ridureyu
Underboss
1622 Posts
    
 | | 08/03/2006 3:24 PM |
| Some of you may have seen Skippy's List already.
http://www.skippyslist.com/
It's a reat site, and I especially love his guidelines - everything on the list is something he has A: Done, B: Suggested, or C: Been Preemptively told not to do.
Well, it occurred to me (through somebody else's suggestion) that my behavior at work is somewhat similar to some of the items on this list. So, I decided to start recording things in a similar fashion.
Point #1: Again, everything here is something I have done, suggested, or been preemptively told not to do.
Point #2: A couple of the items actually match Skippy's, such as "The Revolution is not now." However, in my case I just opened a couple of days at work by shouting "THE REVOLUTION IS NOW! YEEEAAAGH!", and Skippy may have actually started a revolution.
Point #3: I do editing work for a Christian ministry. Thus, a fair number of these are church-related. When a Bible passage is mentioned, just go ahead and look it up at htt;://www.biblegateway.com . I guarantee you won't get cooties, just trust me.
And without further ado:
Things I am No Longer Allowed to Do
1. If I have to ask, the answer is probably "No." See other entries to realize why.
2. Not allowed to fling stretchy rubber lobsters past a coworker's office to "see if he notices."
3. Not allowed to wear a yellow jumpsuit and "go Kill Bill" on our paying tenants.
4. Not allowed to preach my Biblical insight that the two Witnesses in Revelation 11 are really Mario and Luigi.
5. Not allowed to preach my Biblical insight that Adam was actually a dandelion that pretended to be human.
6. Not allowed to preach my Biblical insights. Period.
7. Not allowed to wear a brazilian tribal mask and shout "OOGA BOOGA." This especially applies while the fire inspector is here.
8. "Ice Cream made me forget" is not a valid excuse.
9. Neither is "Rosebud."
10. I am not the Last Action Hero.
11. "I Wanna Be a Hulkamaniac" is not acceptable worship music for the Sunday service.
12. Not allowed to teach the children in the congregation to take "little green pieces of paper" from their parents' wallets and put them in the offering plate.
13. If it is cute when a six-year-old does it, it is probably not cute when a twenty-four-year-old does it.
14. "Ethnically Challenged" is not an appropriate term.
15. The British do not have "tacos," "sombreros," or "little Yippy Dogs."
16. We also did not "kick their butts in World War II."
17. The Multimedia team uses cutting-edge technology to design promotional artwork for this ministry. Five minutes on MSPaint does not produce superior artwork.
18. Voodoo will not increase the amount that people tithe.
19. Not allowed to rename "The History of Justification.doc" to "lets be friends.doc.pif" before e-mailing it to the office manager for review.
20. Tim is not Stephen Spielberg.
21. Clark is not really the Scapegoat.
22. Just because I have a sword doesn't mean that I can use it.
23. This also applies to the "bank robber" mask.
24. Jimmy Carter is not to blame for everything.
25. Energy Drinks are "Not for me."
26. Not allowed to move coworker's desks a few inches each day to see if they "notice."
27. Not allowed to stage a silent brawl in front of a coworker's office to see if he "notices."
28. The Sharks and the Jets are in New York, not California. They will not be having any "rumbles" in the church building.
29. Not allowed to imitate the Emergency Broadcast System with vocal sounds.
30. "We need money, or Jesus will kill me" has already been done.
31. "Confucious will kill me" is also out of the equation.
32. 1 Corinthians 9:27 and Ephesians 5:28 are not about the same | |
Owner of The Original Rust Monsters!
DDM: Harbinger: 76/80 Dragoneye: 60/60 Archfiends: 56/60 GoL: 72/72 Aberrations: 60/60 Deathknell: 60/60 Angelfire: 60/60 Underdark: 60/60 War Drums: 60/60 War of the Dragon Queen: 60/60 Blood War: 60/60, Unhallowed: 60/60 Night Below: 60/60 Desert of Desolation: 60/60 Dungeons of Dread: 60/60 Against the Giants: 60/60
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