delguidance
Sergeant
394 Posts
    
 | | 12/11/2005 3:04 PM |
| There's probably another topic like this somewhere, and if so I am sorry, but...
The two of us are 5th level and walking through the desert wilderness looking for an ancient but small and out of the way temple. We've been walking for days and having random encounter after random encounter, but we think we're getting close. A medium sized blue dragon lands nearby and wants to talk for a bit, let us know we're in its territory, but it sounds really inexperienced and hyper. I figure we could buy some directions while on the other hand the druid's freaking out. And it goes like this...
Me: "so you see a lot of stuff in your territory."
Dragon: "Oh yes, yes I see lots, I fly really well and far."
Druid whispers; "Stop talking to it"
I whisper; "Gimme a second it might know something. So blue dragon, been around here long?"
Dragon: "Oh I just got settled into a new lair, its my first!"
Druid: "but wait"
Me: "That's great say we're looking for a temple somewhere around here."
Dragon looking confused: "A temple?"
Druid: "but"
Me: "yeah a temple its got these murals on it we're going there now."
Dragon with dawning realization: "ma- murals?"
I turn to the druid: "Say what if this temple is his new lair?"
Dragon: RAWR!
Then there was lightning | |
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The Mighty
jai
Commander
3235 Posts
| | 12/12/2005 10:40 AM |
| That is funny. ΖD]
My famous last words worth noting all come from my halfling rogue "The Mighty" ... but his famous words always spelled another party member's doom. As a DM i always use this as an example of what not to do ...
Player: I sneak around the corner and look for the people chanting.
DM: You see a large room, with braziers of colored fire and 12 cultists chanting to a demon alter.
Player: I get closer and string my bow.
DM: Ok, the chanting gets louder as the culmination of the ceremony approaches.
Player: Ok, i wait to see what happens.
DM: The noise stops. The cave ceiling cracks open and lightning strikes amid the cultists. A Demon is left in its wake.
Player: I knock an arrow. | | | |
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cragger
Sneak
132 Posts
| | 12/13/2005 2:20 PM |
| ok. Evil monstrous campaign. Troglodyte Cleric of Laogzed. Lately he's been down on his luck, and almost died in a fight with a very young copper dragon cornered in its lair. Thankfully, he was given a second chance by his god, and is very much in his debt. Thinking he should do something to show thanks to Laogzed, he says the following:
"Oh great Laogzed, accept this feat of faith as I swallow whole the head of my enemy in Honor to your greatness!"
He had a few chances for the fortitude check. He failed all of them. I'm pretty sure Laogzed thought it was just as hilarious as I did. | |
Champion of the Townsfolk... seriously... | |
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jgsugden
Commander
4320 Posts
Walnut Creek, CA
| | 12/13/2005 5:21 PM |
| Low level Paladin: "Bah! You guys already have the Ogre in hand. There is no need for me to charge in and get AoOed. You guys can handle it."
Halfling Rogue: "Ohhh ... real brave, Mr. Paladin. Let the evil giant live a little longer, why don'tcha?"
Paladin: "Fine. You're right. Besides, I'm pretty sure I can survive one hit, anyways. I charge in and attack."
DM:"Hmmm ... the Ogre takes his AoO ... and critically hits you for maximum damage - 46."
Paladin:"But ... I only had 35 hit points ..."
Halfling Rogue: "Ooops. I attack the ogre ... and hit for 3 damage."
DM: "The ogre falls to the ground in a bloody heap ..."
Paladin: "..."
Halfling Rogue: "Hey, what was the paladin carrying?"
Paladin: "Hand me some 6 siders." | |
Champion of Meepo _*_ Myztek on the Wizards Boards. _*_ (2206 DDM on 03/06/06)
Please note: The use of the  indicates an attempt at humor ... often a bad attempt.
BAD EBAY SELLERS LIST (CLICK HERE): AVOID AT ALL COSTS
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IanB
Commander
3112 Posts
| | 12/13/2005 5:23 PM |
| Good old Lubosh.
At least you got killed by an ogre with a name, right?
An old classic:
Rogue: "I check the chest for traps."
DM: : "The contact poison feels sticky." | |
Anson on WotC boards | |
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Malin Lug
Sergeant
742 Posts
| | 12/13/2005 5:40 PM |
| "Hey... all of the Ropers are dead... I crawl into the hole and follow the tunnel alone."
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"Are you not entertained?" 
Champion of the Common Bar Wench
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stonefro2000
Sergeant
465 Posts
| | 12/13/2005 5:47 PM |
| durring a pitched battle with and orc tribe leader who was constintly dealing 15-25 point of damage per round my fighter bravely yelled
"bring it on you son of a dwarf, I STILL HAVE THREE HIT POINTS LEFT"
then there was a dwarf monk who convinced the party to fight what ever was behind the door
"What do you mean we walk by and not open the door? There's XP in there!"
result: TPK
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"Well maybe Mr. T hacked the game and created a Mohawk class! Maybe Mr. T is handy with computers! Had that ever occurred to you Mr. condescending Director!" | |
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yack
Commander
3268 Posts
Gatineau Canada
| | 12/13/2005 7:14 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by jgsugden
Low level Paladin: "Bah! You guys already have the Ogre in hand. There is no need for me to charge in and get AoOed. You guys can handle it."
Halfling Rogue: "Ohhh ... real brave, Mr. Paladin. Let the evil giant live a little longer, why don'tcha?"
Paladin: "Fine. You're right. Besides, I'm pretty sure I can survive one hit, anyways. I charge in and attack."
DM:"Hmmm ... the Ogre takes his AoO ... and critically hits you for maximum damage - 46."
Paladin:"But ... I only had 35 hit points ..."
Halfling Rogue: "Ooops. I attack the ogre ... and hit for 3 damage."
DM: "The ogre falls to the ground in a bloody heap ..."
Paladin: "..."
Halfling Rogue: "Hey, what was the paladin carrying?"
Paladin: "Hand me some 6 siders."
Wow!!! Now that was funny...![:D]
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Champion of the Peryton
Vindicated Champion : Pit Fiend, Devourer
DW: Duergar Priest
RPG Only!!!! The Drumming Drunkn' DM | |
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Sjofn
Sneak
141 Posts
| | 12/13/2005 9:56 PM |
| I hit for more than THREE damage! Plus I felt guilty for about five whole minutes, what more do you want?
AND he got reincarnated as a centaur! | |
God Save the Horn Players | |
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Pale Rider
Underboss
1023 Posts
London, Ontario, Canada
| | 12/14/2005 9:35 AM |
| quote:
Originally posted by IanB
Good old Lubosh.
At least you got killed by an ogre with a name, right?
An old classic:
Rogue: "I check the chest for traps."
DM: : "The contact poison feels sticky."
Black Dougal cries out 'Poison!' and falls to the floor - he looks dead!
Ah the old contact poison bit. A classic. | |
Completed Trades: Crescent Hawk, Vimes, demagogue, vidman, Eric is God, Strachan Fireblade, FungiMuncher, Dudeeehm, Shasack, gausse, kyrin, nyjastul69
Champion of the Remorhaz | |
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jgsugden
Commander
4320 Posts
Walnut Creek, CA
| | 12/14/2005 12:58 PM |
| quote:
Originally posted by Sjofn
I hit for more than THREE damage! Plus I felt guilty for about five whole minutes, what more do you want?
AND he got reincarnated as a centaur!
[)] I always say that a fun death is the best way to end a character ... and I'm sure he is a happy centaur paladin. I kind of regretted sending him off and starting a different character ... but I was really worried what types of looks I'd get when the centaur paladin summoned his 'mount'. | |
Champion of Meepo _*_ Myztek on the Wizards Boards. _*_ (2206 DDM on 03/06/06)
Please note: The use of the indicates an attempt at humor ... often a bad attempt.
BAD EBAY SELLERS LIST (CLICK HERE): AVOID AT ALL COSTS
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glauron
Underboss
1379 Posts
Sydney, Australia
| | 12/15/2005 7:21 PM |
| Our 16th level party was battling through an adjusted RtToH module.
The party's tank has 181 HP and because he follows the same god as my Cleric, he has the benefit of Shield Other in most battles. My Cleric doesn't usually get into front line combat, and casts support spells, healing magic etc.
So we get to a really big battle with lots of Dark Naga belting out prismatic sprays and power words. Huge Bone Golems are their screen but our fighters are chewing through them. My cleric gets targeted with a prismatic spray and has to do a will save or I'm off to another plane. With a Will save modifier of +21 what can go wrong, hehe. Oops up comes a 1 and I'm off.
Our fighter forgets that the Shield Other spell is no longer functional, so he thinks he can take twice as much damage as his hit points.
His dying word was a very long Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! | |
I have always been here. | |
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kniterangr
Warrior
287 Posts
| | 12/16/2005 7:40 PM |
| | We were starting out a high level adventure. I had a thief and he made the comment "Boy, this group is poor." which they all took to mean that he was robbing them. They then turned on each other. We never did make it to the adventure. | |
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easytiger1
Warrior
231 Posts
| | 12/25/2005 6:28 AM |
| In our last session, we cam across a cell in a underground fortress, it had a old man and a very pretty half elven woman who were both "chained " to the wall. Our party is mostly N or Chaotic , but we have our voice of morality Mr LG healer halfling.
"oh lets rescue them they need our help" Mr LG do gooder, innocent and a sucker for a hard luck caase
"not now we need to find the artifact and find a way out, we cant fight with 2 people tagging along" my half orc barbarian, N, experinced warrior, wary of everyone and everything.
After a few more encounters we find our objextive manage to steal it and find a exit, the halfling refuses to leave unless we rescue the innocents.
After a bit of arguing, my half orc, refused to go back and waited near the exit, he explained they had already gone past many empty slave pens and cells, these two were very out of the way and were unguarded, something fishy. but a long story short, they bash there way into the cell and "rescue" the two.
,who both happen to be devils in disguise, they were kept restrained bu cold iron manacles, the rest of the party did not even talk to them or do anythign just unlocked them, well we had a few deaths and it was up to my char to come back in the nick of time and finish them off. Needless to say the halfing has been told to shutup and people actually listen to me more ;).
Moral of the story, never ever free a prisoner unless they are your objective, especially in a gary gyax created dungeon! | |
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS | |
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wolfsbane114
Warrior
327 Posts
| | 12/31/2005 9:54 AM |
| My ranger and the Minotaur stood facing each other at opposite ends of a hallway. The Minotaur charged and reached for my bow.
Ranger: "Hey, wheres my bow?" | |
Champion of Flint Fireforge
Knight of The DarkMantle
KoK: The Easily Swayed
"I use to have a working probelm, until it got in the way of my gaming." | |
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Liquidburn
Sergeant
944 Posts
| | 01/02/2006 9:39 PM |
| One of my favorites is...
PC1: "I jump off the cliff"
PC2: "I follow him"
PC1: "I activate my ring of feather fall"
PC2: "Crap." | |
Jason Slingerland
"Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?" | |
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dj-chuckles
Underboss
2455 Posts
The State that invented Spam!
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Malin Lug
Sergeant
742 Posts
| | 01/03/2006 11:16 AM |
| quote:
Originally posted by easytiger1
In our last session, we cam across a cell in a underground fortress, it had a old man and a very pretty half elven woman who were both "chained " to the wall. Our party is mostly N or Chaotic , but we have our voice of morality Mr LG healer halfling.
"oh lets rescue them they need our help" Mr LG do gooder, innocent and a sucker for a hard luck caase
"not now we need to find the artifact and find a way out, we cant fight with 2 people tagging along" my half orc barbarian, N, experinced warrior, wary of everyone and everything.
After a few more encounters we find our objextive manage to steal it and find a exit, the halfling refuses to leave unless we rescue the innocents.
After a bit of arguing, my half orc, refused to go back and waited near the exit, he explained they had already gone past many empty slave pens and cells, these two were very out of the way and were unguarded, something fishy. but a long story short, they bash there way into the cell and "rescue" the two.
,who both happen to be devils in disguise, they were kept restrained bu cold iron manacles, the rest of the party did not even talk to them or do anythign just unlocked them, well we had a few deaths and it was up to my char to come back in the nick of time and finish them off. Needless to say the halfing has been told to shutup and people actually listen to me more ;).
Moral of the story, never ever free a prisoner unless they are your objective, especially in a gary gyax created dungeon!
Our current group is mostly neutral with the only good aligned player left being me, the leader (kind of.) But we do have a very greedy dwarf and alot of Lawful Neutral people. We have a tendency to free prisoners that we come across, but not just let them run free. We carry around several sets of manacles and the Monk has stading orders to choke out any one traveling with us if they screw around at all. The last prisoner we freed got in the way of a very desperately fired lightning bolt and got fried, we shed no tears for him.
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"Are you not entertained?"
Champion of the Common Bar Wench
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rhane
Underboss
1412 Posts
| | 01/03/2006 1:03 PM |
| Here's one from a 3.0 campaign...had a little bit of metagaming, but still good...
My halfling cleric was running with a spell (I can't remember the source) that let me roll 2 d20's and choose either result. I also had the Luck domain, so I could re-roll a d20.
I was able to just maneuver between 3 trolls so that I could stabilize the stupid rogue who was at -9 HP, without provoking an AoO. Next to go was another member of the party who had a magic item that allowed him to do a flamestrike, perfect for the trolls. He was unsure how to proceed, because if he wanted to hit all 3 trolls, I'd get caught in the area of effect as well (though luckily the rogue was just out of the area). I could survive the half-damage, but if he rolled high, and I took full damage, I'd be a goner.
So...now that you have the setup, here's the famous last words:
"Go ahead. I have 3 chances to roll an 11 or higher." | |
Rhane
"The focus is sharp in the city..."
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