OhGodtheRats
Warrior
181 Posts
    
 | | 06/19/2008 5:41 AM |
| Hola....hopefully this is the right place for this on the forum. Since it's mostly about OLD D&D monsters, I figured this was the safest bet.
A while back, I wrote this article celebrating 30 years of D&D. Celebrating might not be the most accurate of words and it was written before I'd actually played much D&D, so, well, yeah.  Here it is, because chances are you don't know what I'm talking about.
Article 73: Terrible Monsters of Dungeons and Dragons
Turns out I missed a LOT of monsters. Hell, I even mentioned a couple of monsters that I forgot to highlight. So, I figured it warranted a
follow-up.  Just to give you a taste, here's yet ANOTHER race of evil
squirrels (this makes at least 3 squirrel races in D&D, frighteningly enough).
Their
little hats are there to inspire fear, obviously.
If you know of a terrible monster from Dungeons
& Dragons (or their official magazines, etc) that truly needs to be
mocked by all means let me know. There's no way I'll find them all....and any help would be glorious.
I'd post this on another forum or two, but since I'm morally against people joining forums only to pimp their own stuff "hey awesome forum guys check out my site blah blah blah" even if there's a greater reason for it....bah. Makes me wish that I was more active on forums not DDM-centric. Just a bit. If you know some folks that might know a stupid beastie or two, by all means ask around.
Again, thanks for the help. As D&D veterans, I'm SURE you guys know a few that I missed. Feel free to post here or email me at Jared@headinjurytheater.com.Â
-Jared
Disclaimer:
No April Fool's Day Monsters and if you do suggest a monster, let me
know where I can find it. Ever since someone got my hopes up by
describing the Poop Golem, it's just not easy to trust anyone anymore.
You know, because we all want to believe in a magical creature made
literally of crap. | | | |
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Wraithborne
Commander
4305 Posts
The Red Light District
| | 06/19/2008 10:06 AM |
| Actually, chances are some of us know exactly what article you're talking about. We had a thread about it here a while back 
I'll do a little digging and see what I can find. | |
Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say "Ni" at will to old ladies.
-Roger the Shrubber | |
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Wraithborne
Commander
4305 Posts
The Red Light District
| | 06/19/2008 10:38 AM |
| Here's some stuff from the fiend folio.
Abrian- An evil Ostrich from the Abyss....with arms...and it can talk. pg. 12
Chronotyryn- A 12' tall bird with arms and dual voice boxes that carries on conversations with itself and thinks it is the master of time. pg. 33
Disenchanter- Looks like a giraffe with a short neck and drains magic from your magic item by licking them with it's tongue. pg. 62
Half Fey Centaur- Pg. 89 The Pic says it all.
Senmurv- Rainbow Hued wolf with eagle wings that are ferocious Defenders of good. pg 149
Terlen- A shark with wings...nuff said. Pg. 174
Thunder Worm- A sentient storm that looks like a maggot cloud. Pg 176
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Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say "Ni" at will to old ladies.
-Roger the Shrubber | |
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vanrulzz
Commander
2523 Posts
¯\(°_o)/¯
| | 06/19/2008 1:55 PM |
| Posted By Wraithborne on 06/19/2008 10:06 AM Actually, chances are some of us know exactly what article you're talking about. We had a thread about it here a while back I'll do a little digging and see what I can find.
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kyrin
Commander
3168 Posts
| | 06/19/2008 3:52 PM |
| You do Head Injury Theatre? Dude, you, in a word, rock.
JIM
aka kyrin | |
My Have/Want List <-|-|->My Trades and References 1 <-|-|->My Trades and References 2
Pronounce "Drow" like "crow"! Viva la Revolution! We Shall Overcome!
Vindicated Champion of the Stirge! Vindicated Champion of the Githyanki Knight on Red Dragon!!
Vindicated Champion of the Androsphinx! | |
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OhGodtheRats
Warrior
181 Posts
| | 06/23/2008 9:26 AM |
| Thanks for the ego boost and for all the help. The emails have been golden...should have this finished by tomorrow night. I had no idea there were so many monsters in random books without the word "Monster Manual" in its title. Psychic Daisies? Pigs in Space? Multiple Fart-Based Monsters?
Life is good. | | | |
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Ridureyu
Underboss
1622 Posts
| | 06/23/2008 2:15 PM |
| | The new Monster Manual doesn't have anything worthy of being included in the article, sadly. Really, this is very sad. Where will we get our goofy fix? | |
Owner of The Original Rust Monsters!
DDM: Harbinger: 76/80 Dragoneye: 60/60 Archfiends: 56/60 GoL: 72/72 Aberrations: 60/60 Deathknell: 60/60 Angelfire: 60/60 Underdark: 60/60 War Drums: 60/60 War of the Dragon Queen: 60/60 Blood War: 60/60, Unhallowed: 60/60 Night Below: 60/60 Desert of Desolation: 60/60 Dungeons of Dread: 60/60 Against the Giants: 60/60
Dreamblade: All | |
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OhGodtheRats
Warrior
181 Posts
| | 06/23/2008 3:25 PM |
| Yeah, after looking closely at the new manual, the only thing even remotely bizarre/retarded is the zombie who throws "filth" of some sort at you. And even that's a stretch. Then again, a monster that's either throwing pieces of himself at you OR is throwing zombie poop....I don't know. It's almost there. The Kobold who rattles a vermin-filled cage at you borders on ridiculous (and somehow sounds like something out of Maple Story) but yeah. I got nothing.
On the flip side, by looking back through the old books and taking in what people have scanned for me, I've got a roster of 35+ chunks of dumb that should be up late tomorrow night.
-Jared
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Rakhamon
Warrior
319 Posts
| | 06/23/2008 4:17 PM |
| Posted By OhGodtheRats on 06/23/2008 3:25 PM
Yeah, after looking closely at the new manual, the only thing even remotely bizarre/retarded is the zombie who throws "filth" of some sort at you. And even that's a stretch. Then again, a monster that's either throwing pieces of himself at you OR is throwing zombie poop....I don't know. It's almost there. The Kobold who rattles a vermin-filled cage at you borders on ridiculous (and somehow sounds like something out of Maple Story) but yeah. I got nothing.
On the flip side, by looking back through the old books and taking in what people have scanned for me, I've got a roster of 35+ chunks of dumb that should be up late tomorrow night.
-Jared
I think the main issue with the 3e MM is that it just doesn't give enough material to work with. If it described that that zombie was flinging his undead poop at people he would be a shoe-in.
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My trading references: http://www.maxminis.com/Forums/tabid/104/forumid/53/postid/680508/view/topic/Default.aspx
KD Embassador to Sweden, Entertainment Liaison to the Founder | |
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yack
Commander
3261 Posts
Gatineau Canada
| | 06/24/2008 5:06 AM |
| | I'm excited about this cause I remember the first time I read it a while back and loved it! :) | |
Champion of the Peryton
Vindicated Champion : Pit Fiend, Devourer
DW: Duergar Priest
RPG Only!!!! The Drumming Drunkn' DM | |
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OhGodtheRats
Warrior
181 Posts
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Ridureyu
Underboss
1622 Posts
| | 06/26/2008 1:52 AM |
| | The awesomeness. The pure awesomeness. | |
Owner of The Original Rust Monsters!
DDM: Harbinger: 76/80 Dragoneye: 60/60 Archfiends: 56/60 GoL: 72/72 Aberrations: 60/60 Deathknell: 60/60 Angelfire: 60/60 Underdark: 60/60 War Drums: 60/60 War of the Dragon Queen: 60/60 Blood War: 60/60, Unhallowed: 60/60 Night Below: 60/60 Desert of Desolation: 60/60 Dungeons of Dread: 60/60 Against the Giants: 60/60
Dreamblade: All | |
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yack
Commander
3261 Posts
Gatineau Canada
| | 06/29/2008 9:12 AM |
| Great right up but I disagree about the Lamiia, like the lion version way better. But great write up love reading thoses.Thanks
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Champion of the Peryton
Vindicated Champion : Pit Fiend, Devourer
DW: Duergar Priest
RPG Only!!!! The Drumming Drunkn' DM | |
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StormKnight
Sneak
85 Posts
| | 07/21/2008 4:12 PM |
| Posted By Ridureyu on 06/23/2008 2:15 PM
The new Monster Manual doesn't have anything worthy of being included in the article, sadly. Really, this is very sad. Where will we get our goofy fix?
I think there are an awful lot of classic monsters that would seem really dumb if we weren't so used to them.
Any of these sound familiar:
"Oh no, its a acid Jello treat!"
"Ahh! We're under attack by a compost heap!"
"A Giant floating head with frikkin laser beam eyes!"
"Giant burrowing sharks!"
I'm sure there are more.
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Kaya Kenobi
Underboss
1304 Posts
San Jose, California
| | 07/21/2008 6:26 PM |
| Can anyone say Flumph?
I like the Disenchanter... pure evilness... :) | |
Just a simple traveler from the swamps of Dagobah otherwise known as Florida. Also known as Hurricane Alley!
I always try to send through delivery confirmation, and I expect the same. It's only 55 cents extra, so it's just a little more than a pay phone call, so just do it for the Kai. I prefer to trade with people in the US and Canada, sorry everyone else.
http://www.maxminis.com/Forums/tabid/104/forumid/53/postid/655406/view/topic/Default.aspx - references | |
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Bert the Troll
Commander
3964 Posts
Adelaide
| | 07/27/2008 6:05 PM |
| Great!
Moronic Modules should be next, through the looking glass to start. | |
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer." Bert the Troll - The Hobbit
Semi-Secret sig business: "In the age of the internet attaching a famous name to your personal opinion to give more weight to it is a very valid strategy." - Benjamin Franklin
Champion of Epic Lolth, Orcus, & Demogorgon and bring us Asmodeus! | |
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